There are two nursing classes at my school; Friday we both took our test over patient environment, and I was the first one finished in my class, so I left the room to do some reading in the break area. After a few minutes, a girl in the other class appeared, having finished her test.
"Did you find that last question confusing?" she asked me.
"Umm, not really. I just put that an open bed was ready for a new patient." I replied.
"Open bed?" she asked. "You mean 'open bedpan,' right?"Part of me hoped to have read the question correctly, but really I hoped that I got it wrong and she was right, because my answer still was sort of right if I had read it wrong. If she read it wrong, which she did, meant she put that an open bed was ready to be pooped on.
In her defense, she had gotten even less sleep than I had.
And I felt for her, because I have had my share of bad answers. Like my freshman year at OU, when on my zoology test I drew a blank on "cysteine," which I will never forget is an amino acid that is an essential part of proteins, but for the test I wrote that it was a chapel that had a ceiling painted my Michaelangelo since I couldn't think of anything else to put down.
But the all time worst answer I ever gave was for my Women in Film class. The film "Go Fish" had a scene were two girls are on a date, and at one point one is clipping the fingernails of the other. The quiz over the movie asked the significance of this act.
Well, I really didn't have a clue. But I figured it was logical that if two girls are going to be intimate, and might be putting certain digits within certain orifices, they don't want sharp fingernails. So the problem was trying to word this without using the terms "fingerfucking" or even "fingerbanging."
I finally settled on writing "Having sex with fingers" as my answer.
The instructer's response when grading my quiz:
"???"
19 comments:
"And I felt for her, because I have had my share of bad answers. Like my freshman year at OU, when on my zoology test I drew a blank on "cysteine," which I will never forget is an amino acid that is an essential part of proteins, but for the test I wrote that it was a chapel that had a ceiling painted my Michaelangelo."
I refuse to believe this!
Umm, OK.
G, This post made me laugh so hard that I was looking for an open bedpan!!!!!
Good Lord, I can't believe "Go Fish" is shown at film school. It's a really terrible film. Wasn't the correct answer something like the simple act of cutting each other's fingernails showed "intimacy"? Whatever. Fingerfucking is a better answer.
Well, Sharon, at least the World has leather chairs, now.
I didn't care for "Go Fish," either. And you're right, kc, on the correct answer.
I probably would have gotten the answer right had I made it all the way through the readings. What I hated about that class was I thought it was going to be a good cultural analysis of the roles of women in society shown through film; instead it stressed psychoanalysis to find symbolic meanings.
I said almost, George. Almost. For the record, I did not pee in my chair. :)
And I agree that "Go Fish" is a bad movie. So many lesbian movies are horrible.
G!! You made Mary cry! Sure, they were tears of laughter, but they were tears all the same.
Aagghh!! So funny. You had me, right up until "fingerfucking." Then I lost it.
I guess it's possible for an act to have a separate "significance" and "reason."
Or, looked at another way, perhaps the act didn't show intimacy but rather facilitated intimacy.
You should have rounded up some lesbian friends and gone in and set that instructor right. That would have been funny. Why won’t cultural psychoanalysis die? Wasn’t it boring and limiting already 30 or 40 years ago? Shame to have such a rich and varied subject like “women in film” squeezed into that small space.
“Go Fish” was a terrible film? I don’t remember it that way. I kind of remember it being heavy handed at a spot or two, but over all not so bad.
So George, how much sleep you getting these days? And how much driving do you do? Are you living like some sort of sane person yet?
"So many lesbian movies are horrible."
Sharon is so right. Most of them are incredibly amateurish and cheesy, as if all you have to have for a good film is "edgy" subject matter. No plot. No dialogue. No creativity. No cinematography. Just show two girls getting it on in some stereotypical way and voila you have a film that people will discuss as being socially important. Whatever.
I think "High Art" was a brilliant exception to this rule. And "Bound." And the British film "Oranges are not the Only Fruit."
What did you guys think of "The Hours"? I thought Nicole Kidman was fantastic as Virginia Woolf. Fantastic. And the film's treatment of the lesbian theme was very similar to Woolf's treatment in "Mrs. Dalloway."
KC, you absolutely listed the three best lesbian movies I can think of. Now that we have Netflix, thus access to a wealth of gay- and lesbian-themed movies, we thought we'd be able to find good ones, but it seems to be that they just don't make many good ones.
KC, I've seen "High Art" and "Bound" and I thought they were both great. I haven't yet seen "The Hours," though.
DW, I had myself on a pretty normal sleep schedule until this week; three tests, and the first one, Anatomy and Physiology, was no cakewalk. Today's went well, but tomorrow's might be a bit challenging. We also had a test last Friday and another this coming Monday, which makes five tests over six days of class.
For all the Filmaffinitians, making as many categories as you can (Lesbian films?) helps everybody see your choices, since the dumb site won't let you browse everybody's picks. I'm up to six or seven categories. Including my horror picks, because Halloween is coming up.
Yay!
Wasn't there a scene in Go Fish when somebody's mom visited and she hadn't hidden a vast array of sex toys?
"Thumbs up," cl?
Kinky!
When I first heard about “The Hours”, I thought that it was a cool idea that would be very hard to pull off. But they did. I liked it a lot.
And “High Art”. KC, that was a movie that I was going to ask you about. But then I forgot the title. So I guess you like it?
I’ll look for “Bound”.
Yes, "High Art" is exceptional. It's not really a gay film; it's just a film where the main characters happen to be gay. Calling it a gay film would be like calling "Gone with the Wind" a heterosexual film. It's also about drug addiction and faithfulness and the nature of art, and even ethics. And it'll stay with you awhile, I guarantee.
"Bound" you will love, I'm sure. Very sassy and sexy.
Another lesbian movie I forgot to mention is "Mulholland Drive." Also a love story and a scary-as-hell horror story. Have you seen it? It's fucking brilliant.
George:
I'm giving you the finger.
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